iOS 5, and it’s 200+ changes, has been loaded onto my iPad. After Apple’s build up over the last few months, the results are a little underwhelmed.

The Upgrade

First, Upgrading from the Windows edition of iTunes was a pain in the arse. It took a magical hour to backup and upgrade to the iOS. Boring and relatively painless, except…

It ended up effectively removing all of the downloaded apps in the process. Also, since this iPad hadn’t been plugged in for a few months, it also meant iTunes was missing a lot of the purchased apps. Why iTunes didn’t sync automatically before the upgrade is beyond crazy.

Thank goodness for the “purchased” feature that allows previously purchased goodies to be re-downloaded at no charge. Instead of spending time looking for the 5 apps I should have downloaded, and being the lazy person that I am, I clicked the option that downloaded anything missing from iTunes, since storage on my computer is cheap. This included apps I downloaded on my iPod Touch years ago, and used maybe once. Once the hundreds of apps that iTunes was missing were downloaded and updated, it was now time to sync.

The Sync

Okay, at 2 hours into this, it was finally time to use of the new features of iOS 5, wireless sync, which is something Android has had forever. After trial and error trying to figure out how to turn it on (it’s on the first page of the iPad sync settings BTW), the iPad was finally free of the cable! Success!

The actual sync took the longest time, because all of the apps that were just downloaded from iTunes tried to sneak back onto the device because it thought all of the apps I had just loaded were new, meaning most of them had to be deleted. This process was a time consuming. Sad times at Ridgemont High.

Once I have played around with it some more, I’ll post my impressions.

spknork-o

Anyone that can prop themselves up next to a computer and can formulate an opinion has an entertainment website. And of that anyone, most wait until the end of summer to give out awards for the summer movies. Not I!

In the spirit of being above the average, I’ve devised a new tradition to break next year . . . The (Mid-Summer) Summer Movie Awards! Also, since I think boring awards like “Best Actor” and “Best Movie” are more than covered by that aforementioned “Anyone,” I’ve opted to make my own awards!

Best Appearance by an Actor In a Comic Book Movie, Playing Character Based on Himself

Sam Jackson as Nick Fury in Iron Man

When Marvel rebooted the Nick Fury character in their ‘Ultimate’ universe, they based him on Samuel L. Jackson. So who better to play him in a movie? Even if for only 30 seconds, and after the credits. We all stayed till after the credits for Iron Man, right? Who could forget lines like “You think you’re the only super hero in the world?” and “I need to talk to you about the Avenger Mission”? I want to know about the Avenger Mission!

I hope Marvel continues the trend of crossing characters in their movies. It adds moments where comic book trivia buffs can snicker with glee, while normal people (or normies as I like to call them) just look on in confusion and ask things like “What is S.H.I.E.L.D?” and “What is the Avenger Mission?” There are just some things normies are not meant to understand.

Best Franchise Sequel that Shouldn’t Have Been Made

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I’ve covered this one. Like how I plug a past post in this post? Sneaky huh? Anyway, as Mark pointed out in my previous post’s comments, Mutt’s “George of the Jungle” moment was about the point where everyone in the audience wanted their suspension of disbelief promptly returned. I’ve been informed that the novelization, which I assume is based off an early draft of the script, omits some of the most hated moments in the film. Namely the oft mentioned UFO fly away, that was evidently added to be a visual grand finale to the movie. Gee Lucas, you shouldn’t have, really . . . no seriously, why did you do that? This just supports my theory that Spielberg and Lucas just love randomly placing Scifi special effects where they don’t belong! :: steps off soapbox ::

Best Adaptation of “What’s wrong with this picture?”

The Strangers

Anyone who’s been on the Internet for more than 5 minutes has played the “What’s wrong with this picture?” game. Go ahead and try to find it online. Be sure your sound is on (sucker). For those that don’t do everything you read on blogs, here’s a major spoiler for WWWTP: what’s wrong is an effing scary face appears and a loud scream blares out of your speakers about 30 seconds in to staring at it! Fun huh?

Now take that formula of ‘silence . . . silence . . . LOUD! W/SCARY IMAGE’ and that’s the formula for scares one encounters in The Strangers! Effective? Totally. Cheap? definitely. Worth it? Up to personal opinion. Since I have a fear of people standing outside my bedroom window without my knowledge, a scene in the movie really got me, like level 10 got me. This film also introduces the notion of someone being right behind you with an ax, but disappearing right before you turn around to look. Wow, thanks for that movie!

Best Pixar Movie with Grating Robot Voices

WALL•E

I know, everyone and their neighbor named Steve is looking forward to this one, but aren’t those robot voices starting to get annoying? Seriously, it’s getting to the point where it is easier to shove random sharp objects into my ears than listen to the title character say his name. Is this a new form of torture, ready to be used? Imagine:

“Sargent, the guy won’t talk!”

“Alright bring in the WALL•E robot”

“. . . Sarge? Are you sure?”

“It’s the only way”

[Later . . .]

“WALL•E! WALL•E! WALL•E!”

“My ears are bleeding! I’ll talk! Make is stop! I’ll TALK!”

Best Mike Myers Movie Nobody Wants to Enjoy, But Will Anyway

Love Guru

The trailer induces a collective “Really?”, and a “I’m not going to want to see that, it’s more of the same!” However, Nobody can deny that the jokes from Austin Powers and Wayne’s World are still funny, even in alternate settings. Surly there have to be some new yucks in this romp. Unfortunately, it’s going to be up against Get Smart for eyeballs, and frankly, probably isn’t going to win (my money is going to Get Smart). If it fails, its makers will just have to remember that Austin Power’s wasn’t a hit until it was released on video. Eventually everyone will see Love Guru and probably enjoy it.

Best “Please Don’t Let This One Suck Too” Award

The Incredible Hulk

The Hulk was the worst modern era comic book movie. It was a perfect storm of bad story, bad CGI, and all around awfulness. Thank goodness they are calling “Do-Overs” on this franchise. Everyone should go into this movie remembering how bad the last one was. There is no possible way it could be that bad. Right? I certainly hope not. The promos haven’t been promising, unfortunately. However, Edward Norton seems to have his heart in this one, so everyone should give this character another shot. Heck, they even threw in a cameo from Tony “Iron Man” Stark! They better get it right this time, or else Hulk will lose his franchise and be reduced to “Smashing” in a supporting role when the Avenger’s movie sees the light of day.

Best (Anticipation for a) Movie

The Dark Knight

This summer is going to go out with a bang, well hopefully. The Internet has been littered for months now with fake sites promoting it. Which, yes, is getting somewhat confusing, and ranking ever lower on my give a crap-o-meter. I kinda wish I didn’t give my number to Ibelieveinharveydent.com. I love taking pointless calls from (000)000-0000.

Christopher “Memento” Nolan better not mess the movie up or he’ll have a lot of angry people hanging outside his house with eggs. A pessimist might think there is a slight chance, albeit small, of this being another mediocre comic book movie, but that person would be kidding them self. This thing is going to print money.

And there it is . . .

I encourage you to come up with your own awards! Have fun with it!

]]> http://tommark.wordpress.com/2008/06/10/tom-marks-mid-summer-summer-movie-awards-2008/feed/ 1 tommark text32442 ironman_teaser indiana-jones-crystal-skull-teaser thestrangers3 wall-e-tsrposter-big love_guru incredible-hulk-poster-big the_dark_knight_outro_poster http://tommark.wordpress.com/2008/05/26/5-reasons-indy-4-isnt-as-good-as-the-first-three-movies/ http://tommark.wordpress.com/2008/05/26/5-reasons-indy-4-isnt-as-good-as-the-first-three-movies/#comments Mon, 26 May 2008 19:54:08 +0000 tommark http://www.thetommark.com/blog/?p=364 ]]> Spoilers, Ahoy! If you care about that sort of thing!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a fun filled adventure movie that many will love. The “Big Damn Ants” scene was incredible, as was every action sequence in the movie. The comedy was there, especially when Indy insisted they call a snake a rope before he would grab onto it. However, there are a few things that set it apart from the other movies in the series, in a bad way.

5. Generally Uninteresting/Shallow Plot

The Ark of the Covenant (which we get to see again) melted peoples faces off, Mola Ram of the Thugee could barehanded-ly rip people’s hearts out, and the trap filled journey to the the Grail blew my then 7 year old mind! This one failed to deliver in the completely awesome, and plausible, department (more on why later). This time, viewers don’t have to over-analyse or predict anything, because there isn’t anything to figure out. There is a problem when Indiana Jones is out Indy-ed by other recent films like National Treasure: Book of Secrets.

This story didn’t really didn’t tread anywhere new, and frankly rips off the other three films, including the twist in the opening sequence. The places where it did tread didn’t quite feel right. Like going to grandma’s house and instead of getting sweet, delicious cookies that are expected, she serves crab cakes (don’t let the cake name fool anyone, these aren’t cakes, not at all). With the left turns this movie makes, a hair metal band attacking Indy and Co. wouldn’t have been out of the question.

4. Missing Characters

There were some characters that have been there in other movies that were missed. Some of the actors passed away, Denholm Elliott who played Dr. Marcus Brody, or retired, Sean Connery who played Indy’s father. Although they wanted Connery back for a short cameo, it looks like he wouldn’t come out of retirement. There is a touching scene in the movie that explains that these two characters passed away. Having these character would have added some of the depth back, seeing as they were part of what made the other movie(s) great. Another character, that can be seen previously and in the Disneyland ride, Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), could have added some nostalgia to the movie as well. Although where would they have fit him in? Maybe a cameo somewhere would have been nice.

3. Unnecessary Closure

There was a reason they rode into the sunset at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Emphasis on LAST. At the end of this one, in a typical Hollywood style ending, Indiana Jones has a son, a wife, and new job. Hooray! But was this necessary? Can we have do-overs and remember Last Crusade’s ending instead? Please, let this be the last movie! George “Let’s drive ‘er into the ground” Lucas has already expressed interest in using Shia LaBeouf’s Mutt Williams character in a sequel/spin-off. After seeing Crystal Skull, I’d say that this new movie’s going to be named either “Mutt Williams and the Moderately Dangerous Adventure” or “Mutt Williams: Not the Hair! Not the HAIR!” Seriously Lucus, stop ruining my favorite movie franchises to line your pocketbook!

2. No 1930′s/Nazis

I liked that the other films were set in the 30s. Yes, it’s been nearly 20 years since Last Crusade and Harrison Ford can’t look and move 20 years younger, even with modern movie makeup and computer imagery. So, the only logical place to go was the 50′s. The atomic era, complete with showing an atomic bomb going off. Although I think that sequence was in the film because ILM was dying to make it (I know I would be). Seeing Indiana standing in front of a mushroom cloud was pretty cool. Never the less, the aesthetic of the 30′s is a lot more fantastical than that of the 50′s.

Also, since this movie is set in the 50′s, we no longer have those band of bastards we love to hate, the Nazis. What we get instead are Soviet Russians, Commies. Which are arguably as easy to not cheer for, as evident in almost any James Bond film. Although, it seems when Lucas et. al. wrote this, they wanted these Russians to be Nazis. Badly. The character act exactly like the villains in the previous films and telepathy is more of a thing that Hitler would have been researching, but whatever. The Nazis are gone.

1. Science Fiction Elements

Aliens!?! in an Indiana Jone Film? WTF Lucas? Seriously, W.T.F.? Lucas, you have a whole other series that focuses on space and aliens! Why drag aliens into the favorite serial treasure hunter series of millions? Don’t think I’m leaving Spielberg out of this, because I know he loves aliens too. He took Kubric’s A.I. and needlessly added aliens (robots?) to the end of it. I’ve never seen a captive audience give such a confused look in unison. Seeing the UFO hovering near our heroes near the end of the film brought everyone out of the “that was completely awesome, and plausible!” state of mind that the other three movies typically brought to the party. The creators of Crystal Skull couldn’t have gotten a more confused reaction if the sequence was replaced by the Rick Astley video. Yeah, that one. That’s right, being “Rick Rolld” couldn’t have confused us more. Way to go!

And there you have it!

Let me know if I’m completely off base with this one . . .

*I got mine going the Windows Feedback Panel route, but I also got a copy from going to the “Hero’s Happen Here” conference (ah, the perks of being a developer ).

The Photos:

The Specs:

Operating System: Windows Vista Ultimate Service Pack 1
Case: Antec Solo Black/Silver Steel
Motherboard: ASUSTeK Computer INC. CROSSHAIR
Processor: 3.20 gigahertz AMD Athlon 64 X2 Dual Core 6400+ (Black Edition)
Hard Drive: Seagate ST350063 SCSI HDD (500.11 GB)
Optical Drive: Samsung SH-S183L SCSI CD/DVDW
Memory: 2GB X2 (4GB total) of Patriot DDR2 RAM
Graphics: ASUS EN8600GTS SILENT

Final Grade: A

I Am Legend is a movie that seemingly everyone and their mom wants to see. This is evident by the couple hundred people lined up outside the theater, in the cold and rain for the free screening I attended, hoping to get a precious seat inside. Typically, these types of come one, come all movie fests, based mostly on commercial hype, usually end up being enjoyable (i.e. Transformers). They typically don’t end up like the “I should know from the trailer this is going to be boring and artsy” films (i.e. No Country for Old Men).

This film is based on the Richard Matheson novel of the same name. For the curious, this is the same novel the Charlton “Cold Dead Hands/Moses” Heston movie Omega Man is based on. In this adaptation, the apocalyptic catalyst is still a super virus, with a twist. In the first few minutes of the film, we are treated to a news interview with scientist that uses a biologically engineered version of Measles to kill cancer cells in her patients. She’s awfully proud of killing cancer. Too bad that isn’t the only thing her research kills . . .

Will Smith plays the scientist Robert Neville, who is the last uninfected human in New York City. Most of the movie is following Robert through his daily life, which consists of various daytime activities. These include hunting in time square, with his dog (and last friend) Sam, and trying to find a cure for the virus that all but destroyed humanity. Once night starts to fall, he locks up every door and window in his house. When he sleeps, he has nightmares about what tragically happened to his wife and daughter.

The shots of a deserted NYC are incredible. There are weeds growing though the streets, thousands of abandoned vehicles, deer and lions (I’m guessing from the zoo) roam the area. These images are believable and must have been a challenge for the special effects crew. The creatures can best be described as a Zombie and Vampire mix. These “Night Walkers” can’t survive in UV light, but lack the intelligence and sophistication of the Bram Stoker or Anne Rice definition of Vampire. The only intelligence they do posses is in the hunter and gatherer area. There is a great scene that takes place in a dark warehouse with these guys, with our hero’s only light source being a flashlight.

The story of what exactly happened to humanity is told in flashbacks, and various paper and magazine articles in the background. This made for a fun exercise of trying to read everything (note: look for a billboard for a certain superhero movie in “development hell” in time square). Different people may get more or less of the back story this way, although some might find it frustrating, because everything isn’t explained up front. There is somewhat of a left turn at the end that shows up at Neville’s lowest point, that some might consider a cheesy plot turn that includes the line “I like Shrek.” That is up to the viewer though. The ending is very heroic, without saying too much, following the trend of horror movies lately.

Although there have been criticism of Will Smith’s acting ability, his performance here is stellar. The audience can place themselves in the situation; it would be extremely lonely seemingly being the last human. Our audience laughed during his comical initial interaction with mannequins in the video store (not in a Dane Cook way, sicko).However, due to the circumstances of the story, the same interaction that made everyone laugh before became cry inducing. There are some sad moments in this movie.

Overall, this is a great movie, it’s touching when it needs to be, scary, funny, all number of things. The only really bad thing I can say about the film is this, and it’s just a technicality really: the run time is only an hour and a half. I wanted more. Maybe I’m just greedy. My final grade for this movie is a big A.